ANXIETY

                         I AM VIDYA 

               We seldom come across stories of trans people authored by members of their own community. Such narratives offer a realistic, in-depth and genuine account of a trans person’s life unlike what we see otherwise that’s just the tip of the iceberg. “I am Vidya” by Tran’s women and activist Living Smile Vidya is one such book that recounts the impressive journey  of Vidya herself over the span of decades. The description is candid as the author unravels the story in layers of predicaments she faced.

          

Translated version of "I am Vidya" 

               Born as Sharavanan she was given all the privileges like good education, clothes and food as to fulfill her father’s dream of becoming a district collector while her sisters didn’t get any. The author focusses on the psychological, financial, physical and social aspects of a trans women’s life.  She was often bullied by her peers, kin once she started expressing feminine characteristics and the palpable tension between her internal sense of gender identity and gender expression required in society is portrayed. She whiled away hours acting in plays and reading classics discovering her true passion for theatre. After her graduation Vidya sets off to join the transgender community where she embraces womanhood without any fear, lives with her own kind and opens a new chapter in her life. The grim fate of trans women as they earn livelihood either by begging or prostitution is heart- wrenching.

           The author delves deep into the nuances of her community, beliefs and practices that are uncommon elsewhere. Poignant moments, for instance, Vidya was brutally assaulted when she was begging in a train by a gang of goons depicts the social injustice meted out to the transgender community. The author also describes in great detail about nirvana or sex reassignment surgery that she underwent with excruciating pain and no safety for her life though with a sense of freedom that now she is a complete woman. Striving to live a life of self- respect she gave up begging, fled from her community and rejoined with her family in search of work. The author also points out that un- acceptance from her family, turmoil and despair after her return as the darkest phase of her life but her friends saw her through.

               Trans phobia is widely discussed as her employers remained skeptical of Vidya being a trans women or when she had to get her name changed. Undeterred, with the help of her college friends she gets a job, resumes taking part in plays and leads a normal life . The book isn’t just a memoir but a story of a father’s dream being shattered; stigma associated non- binary identity and resilience. The author remained steadfast in her belief by sharing her experience with the society, representing her community and being a voice to those suffering silently. The book is enlightening and educative for it changes the way we look at trans people. The author doesn’t ask for pity but a life of respect and dignity for her people.